“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion” (The Dalai Lama)
Compassion is the ability to recognize the suffering of another being and the desire to alleviate that suffering. Compassion is different from empathy in that it does not only involve the ability to experience the physical or emotional pain felt by another being, but also the aspiration to alleviate that pain.
We typically attribute compassion to humanity. After all, the experience of common humanity usually leads to compassion. The understanding that this person or animal who is suffering is hurting “just like me,” leads to compassion, as opposed to the belief that “this person is different from me and this wouldn’t happen to me,” which leads to avoidance and often, resentment. Take a look at the picture on the left. The person asking for money put up a mirror in order to allow the passersby to recognize themselves in the mirror, in order to understand that this guy has suffered “just like me” and thus making it more likely that they would choose to help him rather than to ignore him.
While the feeling of compassion is humane, it is not exclusively human. There have been countless stories about animals that selflessly helped other animals or humans after recognizing their own suffering. Most of us are familiar with inspiring stories of heroic animal actions, such as primates saving dogs after the tsunami in Japan. There are also countless others, such as a beluga whale, who rescued a diver after he cramped up under water, or the German Shepherd dog, who became a seeing eye dog for a blind Spaniel, or the countless accounts of brave animals who rescued their owners in multiple ways, such as by calling for help or providing compassion through hugs and affection. The acts listed here require the recognition of suffering by another being and the desire to help alleviate that suffering and thus meet the definition of compassion.
What makes compassion so interesting? What is it that seeing the pictures of or reading stories about compassionate acts that is so uplifting and why do they warm our hearts? In our brain, we have neurons (nerve cells) that are called mirror neurons and are found in many different areas of the brain. When we watch someone else perform a certain action (for example, eating a sour lemon), we might also experience this action (we might also taste the sour lemon). This explains why we get so scared in movie theaters when watching a scary movie, why we might cry when our favorite character dies on a show, or why we might feel happy to see others happy around us. When we see (and recognize) the suffering of another being, many of us might experience sadness and emotional pain.
The desire to alleviate the suffering of another is adaptive since it ensures survival and since providing compassion or assistance is reinforcing, it is allows for compassion response to be available to those who are mindful of the suffering around them. The alleviation of suffering (or observing someone else being relieved from suffering) releases an endorphin hormone, called oxytocin. This hormone, also known as the “love hormone” is often released during bonding, hugging, love making, childbirth, breast feeding, and can also be released when we watch the bonding or the happiness of others. This hormone is what it responsible for us feeling good about someone else’s happiness or relief. This often leads to a debate, since compassion feels good, then is it selfish? Personally, I do not think of it as selfish, I think of it as humane.
Our mirror neurons are always at work, allowing us to feel compassion not only for real life beings, but even for fictional characters. People that love a particular movie, book series, or comic books, might also feel compassion for the characters. For example, many Harry Potter fans were devastated when they learned about the deaths of Dumbledore, Fred, or Dobby, as well saddened by the suffering of Severus Snape. Many might have even wished that they could do something to help the fictional characters, this is compassion. Harry trying to comfort Snape in when he is near death is a compassionate act. The desire to help alleviate the pain endured by Batman, The Doctor, Frodo, Aang (Avatar), or other fictional characters, is also an example of compassion. Compassion can thus be taught through the means of books, movies, comic books, and other media (and surely will be discussed in one or more subsequent posts).
One of the reasons why we recognize the pain in some beings and not others has to do with mindfulness and identification. We tend to be more mindful and pay more attention to beings that we identify with and like and tend to ignore beings that we don’t identify with, which could mean a homeless person on the street asking for money. If however, we take it upon ourselves to increase our mindfulness and work on identifying with others (the sense of common humanity, “he or she is just like me, suffers just like me and wishes to be free from suffering, just like me”), the feelings of compassion can spread to not only our innermost circle but to the rest of the world as well, thus increasing our connection with others.
Warmly,
Shadow Quill
2 thoughts on “Psychology of compassion”