Surviving Real Life Horrors

Trigger Warning: Holocaust

My family and I are refugees. We moved to the United States to escape violence related to being Jewish. With the recent rise of Anti-Semitism, I was already feeling threatened. Last Saturday, an angry man with a gun claimed 11 lives of innocent elderly human beings, one of whom, Rose Mallinger, was a 97-year old Holocaust survivor. My heart shattered that day. 

I remember being six years old and sitting on a bench outside my building next to one of the many Holocaust survivors in Ukraine. I would ask them questions about the war. They would tell me.

They would tell me about the times they watched their family members being killed. They would show me where it happened – in Vinnitsa, our city, where I was born and raised. They would tell me about the nearly 30,000 Jewish people from our home town who were killed during the two year Nazi occupation of my city. Some hid in caves, some hid under dead bodies, some managed to get out of the city and join the military forces.

The picture below is said to have belonged to a German soldier with an inscription on the back reading, “The Last Jew in Vinnitsa.”

Although I myself was not alive to see it, the experiences of my family – my grandmother being taken in as a slave, my grandparents losing most of their family members and friends, and my grandfathers fighting to keep their country safe, stayed with me. Seeing the memorials where the massacres occurred, visiting museums, staying in a hospital, which at one point was a concentration camp site, created an eerie devastating feeling to most around it.

When the former Soviet Union split up in 1991, the resulting economic disaster lead to a rise in Anti-Semitism, leading to extreme violence in Ukraine. My family and I were fortunate enough to be able to obtain a refugee status to come to the United States. It was not easy. It took over a year of thorough background checks, grueling interviews, and physical and mental health tests, all of which had to be done in secret. If anyone found out that we were planning to leave, we could be killed.

On September 15, 1995, we finally landed in United States. That was the first time I could breathe with relief. That was the first time I felt safe. Over the years, it became easier to tell others that I was Jewish, though at times I still found myself feeling uneasy and vulnerable about sharing this part of myself.

Last year during the Durham, North Carolina white supremacy rally was the first time I felt truly unsafe as a Jewish person, as a woman, as a person. The subsequent year has been extremely challenging and after the synagogue shooting last Saturday, I felt broken. I felt a part of me deep inside my gut crash, wanting to cry out the most primal scream. Not understanding why someone would hurt innocent people, not understanding the reason for the travesty which claimed the lives of 11 innocent elderly people.

However, I am reminded time and time and time again, to look for the helpers. In the midst of the most devastating disasters, heroes are forged. I look to the millions of supporters who have gathered around the country, such as Muslim organizations, which raised thousands of dollars to support the Tree of Life Synagogue, where the tragedy took place. There are vigils to honor the fallen and the survivors of this tragedy. By not remaining silent, by spreading love and compassion, we stand up to hatred and bigotry.

I find that at a time when I lose my own voice and my own self, I find it through fiction. Fiction can serve as a mirror into our own lives, sometimes allowing us to see a wider picture than the myopic one we may be used to. Most well-known stories, such as ‘Harry Potter’ and ‘Star Wars’ show us to see what can happen when hateful and bigoted people create a regime of oppression. And they also show us that no matter how powerful the rival may be, victory is always possible when we band together.

The most painful moments are the times when we have access to our greatest strength. Our heart aches because it has to. Because we are human. Because feeling this level of pain activates our ability to stand for what we believe in.

Today, I stand for hope. I stand for love. I stand for humanity.

Will you join me?

Janina Scarlet, Ph.D. is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, author, and a full-time geek. A Ukrainian-born refugee, she survived Chernobyl radiation and persecution. She immigrated to the United States at the age of 12 with her family and later, inspired by the X-Men, developed Superhero Therapy to help patients with anxiety, depression, and PTSD. She has written multiple publications on this topic and has given talks domestically and internationally. She authored Superhero Therapy, Harry Potter Therapy, Therapy Quest, Dark Agents, and has contributed to a number of pop culture psychology books, such as Star Wars Psychology, Supernatural Psychology, Game of Thrones Psychology, and many others. Scarlet currently works as a clinical psychologist at the Center for Stress and Anxiety Management in San Diego, CA. 

If you would like to learn more about Superhero Therapy, contact Dr. Janina Scarlet on Twitter or Facebook, or you can email her representative, Dustin McGinnis: Dustin.McGinnis01@gmail.com