Why being a geek is good for you

“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”

J. K. Rowling

 I recently had the tremendous honor of attending, giving a keynote speech, and presenting a panel at MISTI-Con, a Harry Potter-themed conference that takes place once every two years. It was marvelous. Between the enchanted ball, the wicked murder mystery dinner, and the magical people that attended the con and put it together, it was an unbelievable experience.

The four days I spent there were among the happiest days of my life. That isn’t to say that my life is overall “happy,” nor would I classify is as “easy.” Between struggling with a potentially life-threatening condition and coping with an excruciating personal struggle as of late, I was not sure that I would be able to make it to MISTI-Con, let alone give a keynote speech and run a panel.

Yet, when I got there, I was transported to Hogwarts. I was in J. K. Rowling’s world. I did not forget my struggles, much as Harry didn’t forget his when he arrived at Hogwarts, but somehow connecting with this truly magical fandom allowed me to embrace my own Dementors and find the Patronus that I never knew I had. I danced both literally with Voldemort (an awesome Cosplayer) and with the lovely witches and wizards that were there, and emotionally, with my own anxiety, insecurity, devastation, fear, happiness, joy, and among them also, hope. I hadn’t danced like that in years.

Most of the time when we are struggling with our own Dementors of depression, or the boggarts of our anxiety, or the Horcruxes of our deepest insecurities, all we want to do is shut down. Our body goes through a fight-flight-or-freeze response, where our adrenaline system kicks in, causing the heart rate to increase, our breathing to become more rapid and shallow, our bodies to start sweating or tingling, and our mind to start looking for potential danger, not unlike Professor Trelawney, the Divination teacher from the Harry Potter series. At these times it might be difficult to find the strength or the courage to seek help or connect with our loved ones, and, in desperate attempts to stop the attack, we shut down.

In the short term it might seem like avoiding people is the right thing to do. It certainly might feel better in the moment to not have to face the world. However, there is usually a long-term cost to avoidance – it usually creates the very outcome we are trying to avoid. For example, in trying to avoid feeling more depressed, we might stay home and ignore our friends’ invitations for connection. In the long term, alienation actually enhances depression, essentially creating a Dementor mating pit-like effect.

Think of Voldemort as an example. Voldemort was so afraid to die that he tried to kill Harry, ultimately nearly dying himself. He also split his soul a number of times, which caused him to be pretty much a walking zombie, someone who isn’t really alive, isn’t really human anymore. His fear and trying to avoid his own fate made it more likely to occur.

So if avoidance isn’t helpful, what is? During those dark moments of disconnection when depression or anxiety are at their worst, it helps to connect with our biggest values. What kind of person do you dream of being? If at the end of your life there is a book or a movie about you (maybe even a trilogy!) what would you want it to be about? What steps would you need to take in order to make it happen?

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”

J. K. Rowling

 What’s interesting is that when we begin to face our own Dementors in this way, by connecting with the people and activities that are most meaningful to us, it can create a “Patronus-like” effect. Specifically, connecting with meaningful people and activities has been shown through research to reduce anxiety, depression, irritability, and stress, while improving people’s mood.

In addition, it seems that meaningful connections like this also improve our physical health, strengthening our immune system and balancing our nervous system. In fact, when we connect with our values, like painting, singing, gaming, Cosplaying, attending Cons and other geekery, our bodies can release the “feel good” hormones, such as endorphins and oxytocin, which are our body’s own defense against stress, mental illness, and physical illness. In fact, some studies show that people who spend more time engaging in meaningful activities live longer!

So go ahead, get your geek on, it’s good for you.